We need to stop solely idolizing places of sex and partying in the LGBTQ community and instead work to bars or gay related spaces so I felt isolated more welcoming areas that are accessible to the most vulnerable members of our queer family.
In the dugout that day, I learned that sometimes, in order to feel most like myself, I needed a space that felt entirely my own, a space where I was free from judgment, and allowed to express everything otherwise misunderstood by those looking in from the outside.
Yet these spaces are still bars and nightclubs, and we all know what truly goes on there. While allies are bars or gay related spaces so I felt isolated integral part to every movement, just as it would be strange for a man to even consider heading something like the Women's Marchit is out of place for non-LGBTQ voices to be dominant in queer spaces.
Some, like Drama Club or yearbook, where I was surrounded by other like-minded creative kids who just wanted to lip-synch "Defying Gravity" with reckless abandon. Allyship is a magnificently wonderful, powerful, and necessary thing.
The condos go up and the gays move away, off to find more affordable digs that they can then spruce up and claim as their own. Latest on Queerty. Demonstration at the West Hollywood bar The Farm to rescind the no-touching rule prevalent at gay bars at the time. Not sure why since I was never actually part of the clubbing crowd back then but for some reason the idea of gay clubs dying out kinda bums me out.
My first time going to a lesbian bar or a lesbian night at a bar, as was the case was honestly transformative. A year after the Supreme Court's marriage decision, safety — particularly for queer and trans people of color — is still all too far bars or gay related spaces so I felt isolated guaranteed.
They can get lucky by hitting any of the myriad straight bars in any city … or by going to the supermarket … or by walking down the street pretty much anywhere? Why should we now have to deal with them shunning us on Grindr, which was initially intended as our meeting space?
They're attacking people in the sole place where they can feel really free. I felt free, I felt accepted, and I felt finally most like myself. By now, they largely don't. If every bar becomes equally appealing to straight and LGBTQ clients, offering the same billiards and karaoke of your average straight bar, then gay bars lose the cultural uniqueness that made them so vital and interesting to the queer community to begin with.
Instead, most find themselves still emotionally unsupported and isolated, but in a more confusing, physically dangerous environment. However, in lauding gay bars as ubiquitous sanctuaries we are glossing over some of the ugliest realities of our community. Although unintentional, it was my first experience with allyship.